POLITICAL THEATER

AND POLITICAL COWARDICE - my own, I'm afraid.  Tuesday was primary day here in Michigan and Pat and I trooped on over to Riley Junior High after work to cast our votes.  (They call it 'middle school' now, an artsy fartsy affront to the millions of us who suffered through JUNIOR High School in our brush cuts and dorky banlon shirts and musical corduroy trousers (and don't mistake them for pants, 'cause they weren't pants...  no sir, pants were cool, the Beatles wore pants, trousers were what our fathers wore, and goddamnit, that's what they made us wear, us poor little geeky twelve year olds in black corduroy trousers with flecks of bright color in the fabric like maybe there were little red fire ants crawling up our legs, and there you were, these innocent little ex-elementary school kids mixing in with fully hormonal fourteen year olds - girls with honest to god breasts, and guys like John W (I don't even dare write his name because even though he's got to 70 by now, he will come and find me and beat me to a pulp) who was in his mid-20s and enjoying his fifth or tenth trip through 9th grade, and he drove to school - DROVE TO SCHOOL! in a car with more horsepower than all the teachers' cars combined, and he reeked of cigarettes, and had a girlfriend who was way way beyond training bras, and who gave us poor little twelve year in corduroy trousers a brain freeze so bad we'd either smash into the walls, or into John the W himself, who'd growl at you and then toss your body through the nearest window.  That my friends, was JUNIOR high school, so don't give me any of that middle school crap!)

But I digress.

We found the end of the gymnasium where our precinct voted and we stood in a not very crowded line and the nice poll workers had us fill out the voting cards - and there it was down in the left bottom corner.  Two fill-in-the-ovals asking me if I was a US citizen.  Ruth Johnson,  Michigan's Secretary of State, is apparently so concerned that illegal aliens are going to hijack our elections and maybe, by god, vote democratic or something, that she needed one final check to ensure that only god fearing US citizens are stumbling through the ballets, despite the fact that even George W. Bush couldn't find any creditable evidence of voter fraud, and that our Republican governor, Rick Snyder, told her to knock it off. 

So, I decided to get on my high horse and not fill in the circle.  I handed over my driver's license and the card and the license proceeded down the line of pole workers until this middle-aged woman pointed to the card and said I had to fill it out.  And I said 'no', very loud and distinct, saying I was a US citizen and this was unconstitutional.  She looked confused and said, no, I need you to sign the card.  Upps.  So, I signed the card.  And then she said, I needed to fill in the circle, yes or no.  Then I repeated myself, standing on principal.  She allowed as she could call 'headquarters' (wherever that was) and check.  I thought that a fine idea, but people were starting to come in and I was holding up the line, so I said, fine, I'll sign.  I voted (solidly democratic) and we left.  But I felt like I let myself down.

Many of my liberal brethren seem to think this whole voter fraud issue was designed to keep down the Latino vote.  Me, instead, I think this was specifically designed for the white, middle-class, middle-aged voter, to remind him (usually it's a him, women being a heck of a lot smarter than us guys) that there's all these Mes'cans and 'others' out there and they vote for the Democrats, so don't be an idiot, vote the party that looks like you - Republican.

So, later I was at home nursing a middling Cabernet when my daughter Susie called and said she'd voted, and when they told her to fill in the circle, she told 'em it was illegal and she wouldn't do it.  The poll worker said she'd call headquarters.  Susie said, go ahead.  The worker did, and the worker said, 'you're right.'  No circles were darkened.

I went to bed feeling that my daughter was a better freedom fighter than I was.  I later read in the online versions of the Freep and the Detnews some comments to the effect of 'come on, it's just one little line, quit with the political correctness'.  Yeah, it's a little thing, but I seem to remember all the Rush and Sean wannabees saying never to give in!  The road to the Kenyan, socialist, hate America, gay, black, basketball shooting dictatorship is lined with giving in on little things.  So, no more giving in.  So, a warning.  Don't be in line behind me if those little circles are still there in November.

Now back to doing the damn laundry